TRIP REPORT: Youth Excellence Project Bigelow Preserve & Flagstaff Lake Expedition

The Youth Excellence Project of Outside Perspectives, Inc. 

Bigelow Preserve & Flagstaff Lake 2023 Expedition

By Damion Grasso, YEP Founder, Director, and Instructor

The crew convened early on Saturday in New Hartford for the long drive North to Eustis, Maine. Ben and I took turns driving and playing DJ for the boys, stopping for lunch at Subway in Brattleboro. Aimee and Liz, our logistics crew, drove separately but nearby. The boys played the “Shotgun” road trip card game in the van and earned points for silly challenges like, “First person to spot a billboard insurance advertisement.” As one can imagine, the noise level and shenanigans in the back of the van were intense, with the most prominent voice probably coming from Kam, who happened to be right behind me. They all made it a fun ride, though. 

It was exciting to pass from Massachusetts into Maine. The scenery changed, with mountains popping up on the horizon. Ben was keen on seeing a moose. At one point, Ben hollers, “Moose ahead!”. With all eyes on the road, I slowed down over the hill, eagerly approaching the moose, only to find a few wild turkeys fluffing their feathers on the road. From that point on, all future animal encounters were referred to as moose sightings, just for fun and to pick on Ben, of course.

The boys were relieved to exit the van at Cathedral Pines Campground. The red pines towered over us into the sky. Liz and Aimee stepped in to distribute gear and to help separate out clothes and supplies needed for the backpacking and paddling portions of the trip. Dinner was meat n’ potatoes in foil over coals. We gathered around for our first ‘chow circle’ before digging in. As a junior leader, Jay led the chow circle and picked the quote, “If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way” – Martin Luther King Jr.

The night wound down afterward, with an evening meeting to review the agenda, discuss expectations, and pick following day roles. There was excitement in the air in anticipation of our first day of backpacking. The energy continued after the boys retreated to their tents, but only a little past quiet hour. However, we can’t say the same for our rowdy neighbors on the other site. 

What better way to start Day 2 than with egg and bacon breakfast burritos! Kam and Jamel, our breakfast crew, assisted Damion at the stove. Bekru, as leader of the day, led the chow circle. Bekru, with his quiet demeanor and gentle presence, was a natural for the role. After taking down camp, we got on the road headed to the Stratton Brook Pond trailhead with plans to hike 4 miles to Horns Pond via the Fire Warden’s Trail. Before ‘packs on,’ we conducted a stretch circle to warm our bodies for the trek. I admit mine might have been a little intense. 

We started off walking across a cool wooden footbridge surrounded by colorful dragonflies. There was plenty of water along the way to fill our bottles. The boys set out strong but soon remembered (or realized for the first time) that backpacking, especially uphill, is quite challenging! We took lots of breaks, and Ben and I made numerous pack adjustments. This is also about when I started to seriously regret packing 100+ pounds of gear into my own pack. 

Somewhere along the way, I picked up the nickname ‘Daddy D.’ I’m guessing this has to do with all the shoe tying, pack adjusting, kid lifting, and other fatherly behaviors. In a similar vein, Ben was given the nickname Uncle Ben. What a team we made – Daddy D and Uncle Ben! 

Lunch was pitas, sliced cheese, and pepperoni. It was a long day, and while beautiful, there was naturally some (or a lot of) complaining about the hike. However, not one of these guys ever gave up or refused to continue. Everyone was drenched in sweat. As Jamel put it in the journal, “The hill was so freaking challenging and annoying!” At some point, we stopped to dunk our heads and get our shirts wet in the cool water along the trail. Tai was one of the first to dip in. The cold water felt exhilarating!

We finally arrived at camp at about 5pm. For a while, it looked like everyone’s packs threw up all over the ground…but we got ourselves organized soon enough. After setting up tents, Jake, Kam, Amare, Jamel, and I went down to Horn’s Pond to check out the water and gather a couple of bladders full of spring water. Amare and I rinsed off the day’s sweat. The others plopped rocks into the water. The sun was getting low over the lake. Ben stayed back to cook dinner with Bekru, Daniel, Jay, and Tai. Dinner was rice and bean burritos, but Ben and Damion had mistakenly told the boys it would be mac n’ cheese. Despite some disappointment, these boys ate up just fine. 

For the evening meeting, we started with ‘apologies and appreciations’. Then we used a deck of question cards to generate meaningful discussion and to provide an opportunity for each of us to share a bit about ourselves. We also participated in a ‘values clarifications’ exercise to identify core values for our group: Individuality, dedication, accomplishment, comfort, focus, caring, tolerance, cooperation, and resilience. No campfire is allowed at this site. At nightfall, it was time to retreat to our tents and recuperate for another full day of hiking. 

Morning came fast, and soon did the rain. Breakfast was granola, dried fruit, and nuts. Bekru said in the journal, “…right now the rain has died down a bit, and we are cleaning up to get back on the trail. We have to hike 2.6 miles uphill. Then it goes downhill, then up a mountain and our campsite will be between two mountains. Today we are ‘actually’ having mac n’ cheese for dinner, which most people are excited about. It’ll probably be what is gonna push people to finish the hike.” We hiked down to the pond to fill our water bottles before heading out for a big elevation hike to Avery Point and onto Avery Colony. Jake was the leader of the day. Everyone put ponchos over their packs and the picture of the guys looked like something out of a horror movie or some kind of strange cult. 

Legs were on fire on the way up the trail. As the trees grew smaller, it seemed like we were pushing up through a cloud. Along the way, we met a thru-hiker with the trail name SoCo. The boys were curious and asked him a lot of questions. The top of Avery was extremely windy, cold, and wet. We took a few celebratory pictures but couldn’t spend too much time on top for fear of getting too cold. We quickly retreated below the tree line. 

There was a brief lull in the rain when we got to camp, so we took that opportunity to set up tents and get dinner started. I made some maple espresso tea for Ben and myself, which gave us enough energy to start the mac n’ cheese. We gave the dinner crew a break. The mac n’ cheese hit the spot, and no noodle was left in the pan. With harder rain, we decided to have an evening meeting over dinner. The exhaustion among the group was palpable. By 8pm, everyone was quiet in their tents – some combination of wet and dry. We all needed sleep!

The next morning, we woke up to on-and-off rain. The tents were surrounded by (or submerged in) huge puddles of rain and mud. This would have been our sunrise hike day, but the sky was not cooperative. It was our last day of hiking. Jamel took 'leader of the day' and led the morning chow circle. Breakfast was oatmeal. We hit the outhouse and filled some water bottles before hiking up the second peak.

Along the way, we ran into two thru-hikers. One was a fella we had heard about from another hiker – Solo Grandpa. He was quite the character and chatted the boys up. Everyone was intrigued to feel how light his pack was (myself included). Perhaps this is what influenced Jay to write in the journal his future goal of hiking the entire Appalachian Trail. 

On top of the peak, it was once again windy and cold. We only stayed long enough to take a few photos. It was slow going. As we trekked on and dipped below the tree line, the weather gods were merciful and allowed the sun to come out. By lunchtime, we were bathing in the sun on a rocky outcropping overlooking the lake. The views were stunning. The boys truly deserved this, and we hung out there for a while after having our tuna and chicken pita wraps. Since this was clearly a high moment, the boys contemplated opening the hi-lo pack of candy but decided to hold off a little longer. 

Lined up near the edge, the boys laughed with each other and took in the sights. When Jake’s left boot dropped past the point the boys were allowed to go, I shimmied down to retrieve it – making sure to give the guys a little scare by letting out a holler. Ironically, Jake’s other boot decided to take a tumble over the edge a short time later – lost to the forest below. Of course, Jake vehemently denied that this was purposeful. While I wholly believed him, I had to tease him throughout the week. 

We may have spent a little too much time on top because we didn’t get to camp until after dark and needed to ‘phone a friend.’ Even though the itinerary advised us not to underestimate the time the crew would take to climb down, Ben and I underestimated the time it would take! Because of the rain, it was as though we were hiking down a steep river. Everyone was slip sliding everywhere. With my 100+ pound pack, I carried kids over boulders and prevented kids from losing their footing – which many did anyway. We had to wrap some ankles and knees along the way. At some point, Ben and I decided we needed to call in reinforcement. Once we got them on the radio, we asked Aimee and Liz to hike to us with more wraps, a pair of boots for Jake, and a plan to carry a couple of backpacks. It took them a couple of hours to hike to us. 

We ran into them in an area filled with huge fern and lichen covered boulders. Aimee and Liz not only brought wraps and boots, but also cheer and good humor. We needed the morale boost! After wrapping up Kam and Jake’s knees and ankles, they hiked with us for the next half hour. Aimee told a riddle that no one ever figured out. With the relief, we were moving at a much faster pace, still through large swaths of water. At some point Aimee and Liz sped ahead to get camp set up and dinner going for us. 

I walked with Jay and Amare at the front of the line. Jay and I started talking about horror movies and then came up with a scary story involving an abandoned village, a mad scientist, and deranged children that we intended to share with the group. Dark was setting in around this time and so we might have been a little spooked ourselves. Conversing with Jay on this last leg of the hike helped keep me going – my legs and back were screaming, and it seemed like this last stretch was taking forever. Finally, we got to the road leading to the Round Barn camping area. Liz and Aimee drew arrows in the dirt and left us a heartwarming note. “Strong work friends! You have arrived! Welcome to your camp for the evening! Just a little stroll down the road. Give us a HOOT HOOT when you reach the van! We’ve missed you!” To say we were excited to reach camp is a gross understatement. 

Liz and Aimee already had the chili and cornbread ready for us when we arrived. They also had a nice fire going. It felt so good to be taken care of. Aimee and Liz also treated Ben to a jar of pickles and me to a bag of salted chocolate caramels. So very kind of them! The camp was spacious and right on the lake. Our canoes sat waiting for us. The boys were not sad to retire their backpacks. 

For evening meeting, we did apologies and appreciations and then had a good discussion about resilience. I introduced the distinction between dandelions and orchids. Orchids are delicate and need just the right conditions to thrive (wilting at the smallest insult), whereas dandelions are extremely hardy and will often grow strong regardless of the conditions – in the winter or in a crack in the pavement.

I proposed that each of the boys is more like a dandelion than an orchid. They demonstrated this during the hiking portion of this trip, as well as in their own lives having thrived despite experiences of neglect, abuse, trauma, and loss. These are amazing kids. Ben and I also emphasized that adversity and hardship often lead to personal and community growth. It can bring people together. Our bonds were surely stronger because of our shared experiences and hardships. It also allowed us to appreciate things we often take for granted. You can’t have resilience without hardship. I remember finishing evening meeting thinking about how remarkable these young men are and how lucky I am to have deepened our friendships throughout the week. We said our good nights and slept to the sounds of loons on the lake. 

I woke up before everyone else to see the sunrise on the lake. Per usual, I got some coffee going right
away and started prepping for our French toast breakfast. Daniel, who had shown so much growth since starting the program two years ago, was leader of the day. Tai and Bekru helped with breakfast. Liz and Aimee joined us around 7:30 and helped segregate gear and get us ready for the lake. The boys were excited to get on the water. Jay documented in the journal that he caught a small Blue Gill fish before breakfast and exclaimed how happy he was that it was time to canoe. Aimee led the paddle circle game, which involved moving from paddle to paddle, spinning, and doing jumping jacks while trying to keep your paddle from hitting the ground. To

my dismay, I did not last long. Most of us took a dip in the water before mounting up in the canoes. 

Ben and I selected canoe partners to optimize our ability to get to camp amid impending thunderstorms. Our original intent was to paddle 12.5-miles to the Old Flagstaff Village Campsite. However, because gear distribution took some time, we ended up staying at a closer site to avoid paddling in the dark. I paddled with Kam, who kept me entertained with his boisterous mannerisms, contagious laughs, and good humor. We passed some of the time by playing ‘rabbit or wrench’ – trying to figure out each other’s hidden object/creature through comparisons. We also engaged other boats in some epic water battles. 

We arrived at Hurricane Island and had plenty of down time. A bunch of us engaged in a game of ‘Spot It’ at the picnic table and I taught Kam an old card trick I learned when I was a boy scout. At the waterfront, we broke out the snorkels and the kids took turns looking underwater. Jake, Kam, and Jamel tried to knock me down in the water and Daniel, Tai, Bekru, and Amare manned the water guns. Even Ben came charging into the water with water gun in hand. Jay joined in for a bit but spent much of his time fishing. Jamel and Kam made dinner – pasta and garlic bread. Jamel also put together the Dutch oven chocolate cake. The cake called for two cans of Sprite. Jamel tried to surreptitiously take a sip of Sprite, when suddenly Ben called him out. We teased Jamel that the cake wasn’t quite right without that little bit of Sprite – we didn’t let Jamel forget about that the rest of the week. 

As part of evening meeting, Ben and I asked the boys to find a spot on the island where they could do some solo reflection. While there were some initial grumbles, those same boys asked the next day if we would be doing this again. The ask was to either think of something they would say to their younger self or to their older self. Those who chose to focus on their younger self were encouraged to ask questions such as, “What do you know now that you wish your younger self knew? How would you help your younger self if you could now? What advice would you give your younger self? What would you tell your younger self about the person you’ve become since then?” Those choosing to focus on their future self were encouraged to think of questions such as, “What do you want to tell or remind your future self? What do you hope your future self will have accomplished? How would you like to be feeling about yourself in the future? What sort of person do you want your future self to be? 

I walked around to see where the boys chose to reflect. Daniel stayed around the fire. Jake found an awesome tree trunk stretching into the river that he decided to perch on. Kam was on the other side of the island watching the sunset – an orangey glow spreading across the lake. I didn’t see where Amare, Jay, Bekru, Tai, or Jamel went. When we reconvened, we shared what that experience was like for them and discussed how sitting with one’s thoughts can be both uncomfortable and enlightening. Ben and I encouraged the kids to build in times in their lives when they unplug, sit with their thoughts, process, and reflect on their lives. 

After evening meeting, we distributed the chocolate cake and prepared for bed. The sky was dark and full of stars. I stayed up an extra 30 minutes or so gazing up at them. It was hard not to. Jake joined me by the fire for a while and we pointed out shooting stars. The loons were noisy in the distance. 

The next day I got to paddle with Jake. He’s a great kid with a punchy sense of humor. He had a lot to say during our paddle and I truly valued that time together. At some point, Jake asked if he could try paddling in the stern of the boat. He put in a lot of effort despite how choppy and unrelenting the water was. He should feel proud of himself.  

Lunch was PB&J. The spot we chose had a nice waterfront and a bunch of us took the opportunity to jump in the water and break out the water guns and snorkels. Daniel, Tai, and Jake were all in. I got caught up in the playfulness of it; however, made the mistake of dipping Kam in the water against his will and he got upset with me. I felt so bad and did my best to apologize. A little later, Kam asked to paddle with me, and we made amends. On the second half of the day, we zoomed along attacking boats with water guns. We made an alliance with Jay and Daniel’s boat. Amare and Jamel were our prime targets, while Bekru and Tai hung back in the ‘safe’ zone. 

Our campsite was a favorite among the group. The site was sprawling and overlooked the lake with a nice constant breeze that helped deter mosquitos. Amare drew an amazing sketch of the campfire overlooking the lake – quite talented! 

I made more work for myself because I boasted that I could set these tents up blindfolded, which cleverly, Kam challenged me to do. It was a nice way to get his tent set up! After all, I did owe him. Even still, he lent a hand with my tent in appreciation. Later, some of us got involved in water wrestling. It was hard to take Jay down, but not impossible. Jay is such a good sport, and the younger kids really look up to him. 

We had some arm-wrestling challenges just before dinner. The kids even made Ben and I wrestle. Dinner was Pad Thai. Jay and Jake were excellent chefs and made a superb dish that everyone seemed to enjoy. After dinner we engaged in a fierce game of capture the flag. Ben and I were deemed captains. Before I knew the game started, Ben lunged forward and tagged Kam and me, sending us directly to prison. Luckily, Bekru managed to find and release us. At some point in the game, we were chasing Amare, who was in our territory, and he does this mid-air, Matrix-like somersault down the bank, narrowly escaping a tag and making our jaws drop. Who knew Amare was a ninja warrior! On our final round, Ben’s team was a tad shady (ahem) and hid their flag in a Nalgene water bottle – this led to a ‘do-over’. 

For evening meeting, we read a story by the author, Charlie Mackesy – The Boy, The Mole, the Fox, and the Horse. I chose this to share for its beauty, but also because of the numerous points the story makes on themes such as radical acceptance, reframing of negative thoughts, finding and expressing love, kindness, mindfulness, and how a group of very different characters can come together to make something truly great – the whole bigger than the sum of its parts. After reading the story we explored everyone’s impressions and reflected on some of the quotes, such as “I’m so small, said the mole. Yes, said the boy, but you make a huge difference” and “Don’t measure how valuable you are by the way you are treated.” Also, “Home isn’t always a place, is it?” After evening meeting, the boys made s’mores before retreating to bed. We debated the pros and cons of lighting marshmallows on fire versus slow roasting. We could see lightening in the distance and the wind was picking up. We thought it would rain but it never did. 

I was the first to rise the next morning. The sun had risen, and I sat with my coffee by the ledge overlooking the lake. I couldn’t believe it was already so far into the trip. Because I had some time, I decided to write a personal note to everyone that I would distribute at our final evening meeting later that day. I had so many things to say to each person in the group – I could have written so much more. I really enjoyed having that time to reflect on the relationships we had formed throughout the week. 

Breakfast was blueberry and chocolate pancakes, which Jay and Jake helped prepare and flip. Our goal was to get on the water early for the 8-mile paddle back to Cathedral Pines campground. We ended up making great time. 

I paddled with Kam and we resumed our battles on the water. When we stopped for lunch, everyone was weary about putting their feet in the water after seeing a large leech swimming (squirming) around. The rest of the afternoon was easy going. I let Kam paddle in the stern since the water was calm. He did an excellent job navigating the boat – all the way to our pullout. It was a perfect day. The sun was shining, and everyone was in a cheery mood. 

Once at Cathedral Pines we waited for Liz and Aimee to arrive with the trailer. The boys swam and jumped off the dock. It was here that we learned Daniel could do spectacular flips into the water – really quite talented (and daring). Once Liz and Aimee arrived, we took a break from the water to set up camp and de-issue gear. Ben and I took a break and stopped at the general store. Knowing it was our last full day with the kids, I didn’t want to be too long – plus, I was looking forward to getting back into the water. 

Back at the waterfront, Aimee stood lifeguard and the boys found different ways to toss a football while jumping off the dock. Later, I got embroiled in a 3 on 1 water wrestling match with Jamel, Kam, and Jake. Jamel is quite strong but I was able to fend him off. Kam’s strategy is to ‘pretzel’ his legs around you and you need to pry him off. Jake is the ‘sneak-attacker’ and will jump on your back when you’re not paying attention. I’ll admit that they got me down once. It was lots of fun – but my body took a beating! 

Dinner was burgers, dogs, and corn on the cob. Liz and Aimee joined us. We killed some time in camp sketching in the journal, playing games, and playing harmonica. Amare was quite good at harmonica. Dessert was peach cobbler, which took a lot longer than expected. Liz and Aimee joined us for the first part of evening meeting for apologies/appreciations and a ‘me too’ circle where one person makes a self-statement and anyone else who shares that experience or characteristic steps into the circle. While these can include trivial statements (“I like Doritos”), we jumped into heavier territory, with statements that reflected childhood trauma, depression, having feelings that life isn’t worth living, and betrayal. Our ability to share at this level is a testament to the bond and the trust that we established over the week. 

For the last part of evening meeting, we went around and shared thoughts about each individual in the group. It was very special to hear what everyone had to say about each other. There are several highlights I can mention. Bekru was recognized for his gentle demeaner, kindness, and calming presence. Jay for his leadership, compassion, and ability to share his struggles and emotions with the group. Daniel for his kindness, hidden talents, and wit. Amare was recognized for his creativity, intentness, and for being a deep thinker. Kam for his contagious and fun-loving demeaner, as well as for his big heart. Jake for his commitment to friendship, his longing to connect with others, and his good humor. Jamel was recognized for his tender heart and subtle humor. Tai for his energy and spark. All were recognized for having gone through very tough challenges in life. We acknowledged their current struggles as they navigate the challenges of adolescence. Ben was recognized for his wisdom, his ability to establish group trust and facilitate meaningful conversations, and his deep commitment to helping others. I remarked on how much I learn from and am inspired by Ben. I was honored to be recognized for living true to my values, for my purpose, and for my ability to connect with and make a difference in the lives of those in need. After we went around, I distributed the personal notes I wrote that morning on the ledge. 

After evening meeting, the peach cobbler was done, but most decided to wait until morning. Jake and I sat up by the fire for a bit before calling it a night. I could tell emotions were getting high as we neared the end of the trip. As we would explain the next day, it is not uncommon to have mixed feelings – a yearning to go home to see family and indulge in our usual comforts, while also a sense of sadness and loss as we say goodbye to the close-knit family we’ve created. 

The morning was a bustle as we packed up and got ready for our road trip. We said goodbye to Cathedral Pines and stopped at the general store before hitting the road. I promised the boys cans of coca cola. I also bought some chocolate chip cookies and importantly, an air freshener for the ride home. While the boys had primary control of the song selection, Ben and I allowed ourselves to choose songs every so often. We strived to pick the longest songs – Bohemian Rhapsody, Stairway to Heaven, Free Bird, and other classics. We also hoped it would introduce the boys to genres they were less familiar with. We hit Subway on the way home – perhaps the best Subway ever. Ben and I took turns driving – still no moose. 

Back at Outside Perspectives, the boys set tents up and separated out their personal belongings. In our final debrief, we revisited the idea of resilience, praised the boys for their perseverance and comradery throughout the week, and acknowledged that goodbyes can be hard. Hugs all around at the end – until our next adventure!